Saturday, July 05, 2008

India's true weapons

Spending the weekend at my uncle's place led to the usual questions on the breakfast table - what does one have as a side dish with the hot Dosas that my cousin was making. We'd run out of the staple accompaniment to the ubiquitous dosa - the omnipresent molaga podi (or gun powder for the more North Indian of my readers) , the stodgy mixer grinder taking a forced break thanks to the immense work load or the low voltage supply . Hence yours truly re-discovered the good old avakkai on the table . Having avakkai with your food wakes you , your alimentary canal and your intestines up as one re-discovered today. It has an effect on you which can be best described by Wooster describing Jeeves' concoctions. "The intestine discovers a life of its own, the eyeballs roll about in their sockets and everything seems dull and grey for a while that you think its time to ring for the solicitor to draw up your last w. and t. " and rather better words to that effect.


The average tambrahm enjoys his pickles as much as he enjoys the various forms of sambar , rasam , parotta (not the north Indian variety). It is to him the equivalent of sugar and milk in filter coffee, the "taalichu kottu" to the dish and the prasaadam from the various temples. Take it away and you'll see resentment slowly appearing and storm clouds gathering.

Many moons ago (when Chennai was still Madras and I was a kid in shorts roaming on bicycles), a friend of mine with the moniker Papa used to bring curd rice and avakkai for lunch, one can still remember seeing that the curd rice had a bit of avakkai in it with the result that it wasn't clear whether he'd have avakkai as a condiment to the curd-rice or curd as a condiment to avakkai-rice. He was significantly less chirpy the days he didn't have the avakkai rice and we concluded that there was a direct variation between the amount of avakkai in his curd rice (or curd in his avakkai rice) to his state of mind. Last heard he was happily married in the U.S. of A but I believe Saravana Bhavan would have a contract to feed him well.




P.S. The Prime Minister should invite the left leaders for a meal which serves curd rice, avakkai and gongura (this is a cousin that our telugu brethren up north have invented which is a spicier pickle than the avakkai) . Given that the left leaders are all in their 70s hopefully with their weakened digestive tracts, they'd spend the whole of the 7th else where and the nuke deal will be agreed upon !

Friday, July 04, 2008

Reverse horns and the conundrum of the Tambrahm

(Paam Pa Pa Paam Paam Pa Pa Pa Paaam Paaam Paam)*2 Pa Pa Pa Pa Paaam Paaam

No no this isn't gibberish, I haven't retarded in my mental stature but an attempt at reproducing my agony at various sounds that come out in the neighbourhood in the mornings.

One of the most amazing utilizations of sound is in reverse horns. For the uninformed about cars among my readers I refer to devices in cars that make an infernal racket while reversing - these can range from the latest (B/K)ollywood top single to a weird beeping noise that damages your ear drums and jangles your nerves.

Our neighbour has a beautiful small car that makes the most awful noise whilst reversing. Its now a rule that no cars should make this infernal racket whilst reversing but its a custom more honoured in the breach than in the observance. The upshot is that your friendly neighbourhood tambrahm (of whom my neighbour and yours truly are esteemed representatives), will sit on the arm chair and comment on the fact that the country is going to dogs. The same uncle would thunder over a cup of steaming hot coffee made by the mami of the house "There is no civic sense in Madras and everything is so much better in Delhi, Amsterdam, New York, London or where the offspring or some distant onnu vitta chittappas grandson is present." . The location could also be a small village 24 miles out of Boston getting to which will be more familiar to them rather than getting to Vandalur (where's that ? ) from Mylapore . However the act of jangling the nerves of every sensible chap in the neighbourhood doesn't seem to count in the act of improper behaviour. Cribbing is fine but then be sporting about it and don't spout contradictions ..

Ofcourse there is the old mama who says - Daaai Adhigaprasangi - edu da komba .

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Getting even with the chennai autos !

This post is for those readers of my blog who've endured my rants about the Autorickshaws over time and was a result of a conversation with the to-be missus about getting even with the rascalaaa rickshaws..

So on a boring balmy evening after sitting at home for 3 days doing nothing much other than getting bugzilla working on the laptop and trying to fix some bugs in the compiler I maintain , I was positively in the need of some fresh air. I'd decided to go pick up a book on C++ ( now that GCC is to be written in C++, I need to start brushing up my C++ skills over time) .Watching the market yo-yo senselessly over the past few days I'd decided that it was time I got a lesson on Intelligent Investing my Benjamin Graham. Making a few phone calls to Landmark helped me ascertain that they had precisely one copy of the book and I was welcome to come and grab it at their City Centre outlet.

Now once you decide to travel somewhere in Madras (or Chennai! ) you need to understand whether

a. you are in the mood to haggle with the ricks .
b. you want to haggle with the ricks.
c. you want a ride that would leave your nerves gangling and your blood pressure levels reaching sky high.


Deciding that I was becoming a more responsible chap with the impending act of marriage and all that , I decided to take the easier option of giving it back to the ricks. I took the train from the MRTS station that is 500m from home and got off at Light House about 5 km away in about 5-6 minutes and having paid the full return fare of 10 Rs upto beach. (There's another reason why I donated about 4 rupees to the MRTS, it was because I only had a 50 rupee note and didn't want to hear , kasmaalam change kudu ya) . It was for sure an infinitely more relaxed experience of taking the train because I didn't have to wince at sharp turns to avoid big buses, lots more air (less sweat) , hardly any people in the train ( I could choose to stand, sit , lie down in the seats as was convenient to me!) .

Watching the autos as they were standing in front of the station I couldn't resist but think in my head .

Themadrasi 1 vs . Autos - 2000


P.S. An auto rickshaw trip to the above mentioned place and back home would have been a haggle for about 100 bucks both ways and with its associated mental tensions.