Economy Drives and Cattle Class.

Reading about the Economy Drive in India reminds me of a certain Economy drive in one of the greatest political satires of all time - Yes Minister. All the classic ingredients are present in the mix , a recession, (the 2008) inflation, (this year's) deflation and a perilous state of public finances the world over. Think of the political classes to come up with an Economy Drive !. A request is made by the finance ministry that all ministers travel by Economy class amid a few protests that they are too tall, too fat or too thin !

The press have their controversy courtesy a tweet , a couple of ministers travel economy class in airplanes , the leader of the party in government travels by Economy class but spends more on security and an MP travels in first class on the same flight ! A train in which a youth leader travels is damaged, the cost of which should be surely higher than a first class ticket in a commercial plane. Nice - all similar to the Economy Drive. Now will 69 diplomats from a Western neighbour be expelled or will the courtesy be extended to some of the diplomats from across the Himalayas for the economy drive to pause.

The mind boggles .....

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire.

The first thought that came to mind on reading this story happens to be the title of today's blog post. Too long has the country been held to ransom by parties expecting to get great power without equitable representation. How else would one explain a party with just 18 seats expecting to get 9 plum ministerial berths and expecting the party with 206 seats to just give it all away ? It's nice to see the Congress party stand up to be counted and play hard ball with these small parties . It's not about arrogance but just sometimes people have to be put in their place. An 87 year old man just found his right level of incompetence.

Elections, Sensex and Mayhem.

Waking up on a Saturday morning 4-1/2 hours behind the good old des one was immediately struck with the thought - Election results => streaming NDTV, shiny new ADSL2+ broadband. Thanks to the time difference there was no surprise left in the results by the time I got around to looking at the results and seeing Prannoy Roy for what must be the infinitieth time run us through the election results. It was indeed interesting to note that this is the first time a government that has completed 5 years has been almost reelected. Streaming NDTV 24X7 live on a webcast worked like a charm though one did get the feeling that the ad-breaks were a bit too long. Watching the spoilers like the 3rd, 4th and even the 999th front get a pasting from the voters was quite a nice feeling.

Our Prime Minister must be wondering about there being no sense with the traders. In 2004 the markets fell the maximum in a day because the Congress had been voted in, in 2009 the markets had to be closed again because the Congress was voted in. What will happen in 2014 ? The mind boggles.

The market's reaction today is the burden of expectations on this government. The cry has gone out, Perform or Perish. The Indian voter will no longer tolerate political slogans ! As for me - I'll go back to watching the Beeb muse about the expenses row here in the U.K. I wonder what will happen if MPs in India were asked to disclose their expenses.

Happy (Tamizh) New Year

Iniya Putthandu Vaazthukkal – Happy Tamil New Years Day.

As the easter weekend meandered to a dull close and having returned from the humble abode of one's cousins, a dull boring evening appeared to be on the cards for the madrasi. Given that the bird was hosting dinner to other birds and having spent a good deal of time and effort in unpacking and arranging empty vessels in the kitchen of the new tenement, themadrasi felt it was time that the vessels were put to some use. The cry or rather the shrill cooker whistle went around, themadrasi is cooking. Excursion trains were to be run to witness this great event in the history of mankind but then Colonel Murphy in the form of Sunday timetables on Easter Monday as well as planned engineering works struck.

Given that the paparazzi wasn't around and the glorious sunshine at 5:30 p.m., themadrasi decided to put paid to the rumour that there was another South Asian store around by going out for a jog and exploring the neighbourhood in mufti . It turned out that this was also run by a fellow Tamilian from Sri Lanka and having said Omam to him themadrasi returned with all the ingredients required for successfully stocking the kitchen of a respectable TamBrahm inclusive of the famous LG Perungaayam.

At this point of time there was a flash of light and enlightenment dawned on themadrasi. Cook Ven Pongal, the supreme dish to celebrate all Tambrahm occasions. One must ofcourse point out that the w. had also reminded him that it was the new year the next day and there were no satisfactory answers to questions posed about how the occasion was to be celebrated. Beginning the task at hand themadrasi realized that if this was to be done there were a few matters of chronology to be sorted out. There was help was at hand in the form of the iphone call to the cousin to help out.There were approximations made including substituting Gingelly Oil (Nalla Ennai ) with Vegetable Oil, (the supreme act towards national integrity by substituting) Basmati Rice for Ponni or Nellai Super. The proportions mixed, the tadka made, the cooker put in, the chimney turned on (with the LG Perungaaya dabba on top) for good luck it was time to wait . Drat but where were the cashews. Whilst the cooker shrilled themadrasi pattered down to the good old Tesco found just a bag of cashews , came back up – opened the fridge for the pat of butter to fry the cashew in ( No half measures – note the jogging bit above)

A reasonable approximation to the Pongal was prepared and consumed – Dr. Onken supplied the necessary yoghurt, the entertainment was provided by SPB on the blower going on about Maarugo Maarugo Maarugazhi (Chittirai) and to hand were Bertie and Jeeves preparing for their next escapade at Market Snodsbury. All in all capital one would say and to paraphrase the bird – it was time to put on the silk hat , find the pipe and write this blog.

P.S. Rumour has it that the new year in Tamilnadu will not be celebrated on the 14^th of April because an old man wants Pongal to signify this event in January. It's time I fedex'd some of the basmati ven pongal to him.

The Laptop Crisis of 2009

There is something about laptops and the family this year. First my cousin's laptop blew up , then I followed suit by stress testing my pride and joy by upsetting a glass of water in a eureka moment on discovering how a particular bit of the compiler worked. Now, its the turn of the sister in the family to go and blow her laptop up. Other than my act of putting the proverbial leg on the axe ( Kulhadi pey pair maarna !), the other 2 were acts of nature , wear and tear and resulting in an explosion of cataclysmic proportions.

Currently the sister's laptop is down and she's busy with writing odes from a netcafe. The first I heard about this was a frantic call at 2:30 in the afternoon - "drop everything find me HP's number in Bombay so that I may contact them". Such tasks were duly completed and then 3-4 hours later one gets a call about how ham-handed one feels with the laptop down etc. It appears as though storm clouds are on you, the world is torn apart and you are crippled without your main course of "facebooking", "tweeting", "blogging" and "orkutting". The entertainment channel of watching dvd's or getting on youtube is out . If you are a techie, the side business of following your community's IRC chat is out. What is it about this dependence on technology and such inane devices that make them a part of you. When things stop working the way you are used to , you feel totally hamstrung as though a part of you has been cut off. One now owns an iphone, a laptop and an ipod and not having any of these would leave one like Lord Emsworth from Blandings worrying about the Empress's eating habits .

These are the occasions for the proverbial cuppa coffee, a snug blanket (definitely a thin one for an Indian Summer) and a good book.

Clapham ho.

'The first thing to do,' said Psmith, 'is to ascertain that such a place as Clapham Common really exists. One has heard of it, of course, but has its existence ever been proved? I think not. Having accomplished that, we must then try to find out how to get to it. I should say at a venture that it would necessitate a sea-voyage. On the other hand, Comrade Waller, who is a native of the spot, seems to find no difficulty in rolling to the office every morning. Therefore--you follow me, Jackson?--it must be in England. In that case, we will take a taximeter cab, and go out into the unknown, hand in hand, trusting to luck.' [1]


So it's been one of those things with moving to the UK and wanting to find places like Ickenham, Clapham, Market Snodsbury, (an equivalent of) The Drones Club etc. being a huge PG Wodehouse afficionado. Given that one was to travel across the country to the lovely city of Sutton for a day trip, one didn't expect to spot Wodehousian names or be reminded of Wodehousian prose with events that transpired on the way.

The only difference between this expedition and the one referred to above, was that one had a bird for company who after a long winded preamble (which included choice epithets on how yours truly's sincere and honest efforts at figuring out the right platform for the tube) pushed you into a train that pushed us back nearly 1/3rd of the way back to Cambridge. Blame it on the birds being out of place underground or the weather brilliant today. All the angst against the delays were excused once, ( after the minor process of getting on to the correct t was completed,) one passed through Clapham Junction and realized that this would probably lead to Clapham Common in the scene where Mike does the Jijutsu on Bill and proves to be the saviour of Comrade Waller.


[1] : Psmith from Psmith and the City by P.G. Wodehouse.

The great British Bathroom.

So, its house hunting time again having moved to Cambridge to take up employment at a place that is famous for thumbs, arms and mobile phones.

The key thing to look for in any house or apartment here is the bathroom and especially the shower. Remember that in the UK it's possibly a law that no 2 showers should look or work alike. Some places have an instant electric shower which has a very intuitive and effective interface to the user. Some others make it obscure with 3 moving dials , one for controlling water flow, a 2nd dial that can make things warmer or colder and then a third to set the temperature. The result is that dials 2 and 3 can get out of sync and you can actually get cold water when you want hot water and so on and so forth. So the first thing you do as soon as you get into the house is to make sure you look at the bathroom. The other funny thing about bathrooms is that somehow in the 80s folks got the idea that a bathroom was really cool with having a carpet inside it. So now that you have a carpet inside you have to be really careful about how to take bath etc. and make sure none of the water from the shower actually falls on the carpet. Contrast this with the Indian genes of associating foot marks on the floor to leave evidence of your bathing every day to concerned parents you actually have a big problem .

In the end I chose an apartment with a magnificent bathroom with a shower that I know how to operate and laminate flooring ! Yay !

Delay that damned flight !

Sitting at Kamaraj Domestic Terminal in Madras waiting to catch a flight back to Pune, I was sitting and twiddling my thumbs watching updates by folks on a Facebook channel and hoping that the flight be delayed because the buses designated to take the passengers to the aircraft ran out of diesel or some such. The t.v. at the airport was tuned to a popular English news channel and there were dozens mouthing platitudes but one wanted to see the actual action. I counted 4 and that included Resul Pookutty winning the Oscar for best sound mixing . That was good and if any indication meant that Rehman should now win. One was rooting for AR Rehman to win and didn't particularly care if the movie won any other awards.

But with the conservative TamBrahm gene throbbing and growing up with the Indian cricket team lose out on many occassions in the past, it was too early to be saying Jai Ho. At this point of time when there was a needless presentation about how films get made in the ceremony, one's flight got called. I had to board it murmuring vague curses on the efficiency of Paramount, the ATC, the state of the economy. Colonel Murphy does rule after all.

However one was saved by technology - the humble mobile phone hummed and one got the news that led (an imaginary clone of yours truly) to do 24 cartwheels, 5 somersaults and an exhibition of the shirshasan inside the plane. However in the general interest of humanity and not willing to stress test the Embraer Aircraft or take pangas with Sky Marshals, one took it with a smile and promptly downed a bottle of water.

P.S.

Ella pughalum iraivanuke (All glory and fame is to God) - Rehman in his acceptance speech.

Jai Ho

Tradeoffs...

Well blogging this as I am on a train from Leicester to Cambridge using my 3 mobile broadband data card, I can't help but marvel at the amazing contradictions in infrastructure. Whilst the train from Leicester to Bristol passed through regions without network coverage, atleast it did have power points for the laptop to be plugged in . However, the train from Leicester to Cambridge appears to go through areas served well by 3's network the train doesn't have any power points to plug in the laptop. A trade off everywhere. ...

Stop Snowing ...

Watching the snow come down over the past 2 days in the UK has left me with conflicting emotions. It's been the maximum amount of snow in the last 18 years in London and the parts of the UK that I am now in . I thought originally that walking in the snow would be more fun than walking in the rain but have quickly concluded that atleast in the UK walking in the snow isn't that much fun.

The temperatures aren't too much below zero, hence snow keeps melting and refreezing as ice . The other thing is the high humidity and the threat of rain that makes things even worse by converting roads into cesspools of slush , grime covered by thin layers of ice.

Other than the climatic consideration above, the pain also seems to be inhaling snow flakes, having them fall into your eyes while walking. One does read about concepts of reflection of light and so on, but you can actually see how the place really gets lit up with the streetlights and the snow - The whole city seems alight and the light effects are quite awesome.

Transitions....

Moving to the UK lock stock and barrel with 3 suitcases, the trusty laptop, the ipod and the D50 has been quite good fun. Throw in tenancy agreements, tax regulations, very different shopping experiences, dependence on public transport , the rain and the cold make it an eclectic experience. Here's a 10 point irreverent rant on the same.

1. Living here relies a lot on how well you plan things. For e.g. when back home in India you don't plan your shopping because you know there are zillions of shops and you would be able to get things in time. However if you make the same assumption here, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Shops tend to start closing by 6 p.m. which is about the time you start heading back home ! Need a hair cut get an appointment is the mantra ! It takes a bit of getting used to - especially the getting an appointment for a hair cut and paying 34 quid for it but then you get there in the end. This is the bit one is still trying to get used to. Pakoda Kadar agree with the sentiment albeit grudgingly.

2. Improve your manners. Being used to thanking people aloud one gets by alright but do remember to thank the bus driver after you get off the bus, the taxi cab driver after you get off the taxi. Be polite and people will be polite to you in general. Stand in a queue, for heavens sake Ghanta Singh, don't jump that queue. Negotiate with anybody or for anything politely .

3. Movie theatres are generally empty and appear to be rather well maintained. It's a miracle really how they do any sort of business here. I watched Slumdog millionaire the day after its release with about 12 people in the theatre for a 10:30 p.m. show on a Saturday night. In Pune or Madras I wouldn't have got the tickets !

4. The cold - Whatever you do, this is the toughest part to adjust to. It is biting cold, you need 2-3 layers as I am wearing right now even to write this blog entry. Go out of the house and you need 4 layers which are quite the interesting bit. Also as I am repeatedly told cover your head with a cap or something or the cold does get to you ! BTW remember to carry an umbrella around after checking the weather reports you'll find that useful for sure :)

5. The water - It's really hard. What surprises me is the hardness of water for a nation which has so much rain and is always being filled up. Should Jayalalitha teach rainwater harvesting here to improve the quality of the water table ?

6. The buses - usually work on time but sometimes you miss them ! Travelling on a bus is infinitely more pleasurable because sometimes you can also login to the internet if you carry your own 3G dongle . However there are jerks on the bus which can cause problems with your hard drive ! Trains are also fun, you can get most tickets by booking off the internet, remember to plan your travel in advance the difference in fares can be up to 7x.

7. Learn how to walk. This is a country for people who can walk. If its close by you walk because you can't be bothered about finding parking or parking is expensive in the city centres or the malls and the airports are so huge that you need to walk. It might also be good to invest in a lighter laptop and to demand one at work to save your back !

8. Food - Well this is the most interesting bit and something I'm still figuring out. If you are vegetarian and love Indian food then you can find enough of the ready to cook stuff in one of the big supermarkets . If you feel enthusiastic about cooking , you can find most ingredients in the supermarket or in a local Indian store. If you are a tambrahm like me and absolutely dig the curds, go buy yoghurt and flavoured ones at it . They make quite some eating. Also you'd enjoy the Fru and the Gu as were introduced to me by my cousins. Now this is going to be a life long addiction.

9. Practice on Ironing your clothes and using the washing machine. Using the washing machine is usually fine but then each one in each of the places I have been in has different controls and programs and hence sometimes it becomes quite a pain !

10. Carpets in Bathrooms - The only place where you have carpets in bathrooms . Makes you wonder if people bathe with water or the latest perfume out of Gucci. More on this here.

Pin codes, movie names etc.

What is with Indian film makers these days. They seem to be advertising more for the postal service with their film titles rather than anything else. If you had a tamil movie called Chennai 600028 which I absolutely doted upon because yours truly grew up there playing similar gully cricket but on roads and the famous ground at MRC Nagar - Chennai -28 which has now turned into a multi-storeyed apartment block flagrantly violating all tenets of the Coastal Regulatory Zone ! In any case we now have a new hindi movie called Delhi - 6 which is located in Chandni Chowk. Having stayed in Delhi for about 6 months in my life and visiting Chandni Chowk pretty regularly in that period it would be interesting to see how the movie pans out . Having an ensemble cast helps with the hype, in comparison to Chennai 600028 where even our Vaadiyar's son appeared in the 11 playing for the RA Puram Sharks which was kind of cool . The music with AR Rehman in Delhi 6 vs. Yuvan Shankar there also promises to be good .

For some time last night I was watching the movie Once upon a time in America and saw that the idea of smuggling things by attaching salt bags to them and dumping them over board and then dragging them along the boats as is shown in Nayakan probably was inspired from here. It's really really violent but then builds up rather well .

The other movies which I probably will see soonish are Australia, 7 pounds , 3.10 to Yuma and whatever else I can see. Reviews might follow depending on the movie !

Of Trains ,stations and Railways..

In the last month or so , it's been awesome traveling by the railways across India and the UK in the course of trips .


1. The best station in India - in terms of scale and size Howrah ! It has close to 25 platforms and trains departing for particular regions of India will only leave from a cluster of platforms in this station. Cars can go right along the platform and literally drop you off in front of the coaches. There is enough space for parking on the sides and everything is on a gargantuan scale. I'd suspect that Chennai Central and NDLS will fit into Howrah , though CST might give a run to Howrah for its money because of the Victorian architecture.

2. The smallest station in India : Darjeeling. Everything is tiny about it. The platforms are like small steps on which you can climb. The rail track runs parallel to the roads and at many places traffic has to wait for the trains when they chug along. Probably also the most picturesque with the glorious Kanchenjunga as the backdrop . I would particularly recommend travelling on the toy train. For all ye growing up hearing about steam engines this is one of the few places where you can actually see it working . Look at the pic where you can see it filling up with water after a 6 km drive !

3. Cambridge Station - UK . It is probably true of stations in some of the smaller towns in the UK. When you enter the station you are told there are 4-5 platforms but there is no overbridge or a subway. There is one really long platform and this is further split into 4-5 platforms . There is a parallel track along side the track for the platform that has various entry points for the different regions in the platform. So it was very funny to be on the same physical platform but a different virtual platform ... If you get my drift.