Noises of a different kind.

Awwwww Oooo Ooooo Helloooooo, kuchi koooo, cutie pie, achi pui, oooo sweeetieeee sweetuuuu sweeetuuuuu sweetieee pie, shee's sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute naaaa..... Ooooooo Oooooo Ooooo Oooooo


Allelllellelele lellelellelellleee... ala kukuku .. allalelelele. cluck cluck cluck ..

You might be wondering what these noises represent. Is this a form of greeting in alien-speak, a martian air-craft landing or the sound effects from a new Bollywood movie ?

It doesn't stop there - it goes on and on ...

kidhal dekh raha hai...... mela sonu bacchu.... hasla hai mela baccha ... Ooooo Ooooo Ooooo Allelllellelele lellelellelellleee... ala kukuku .. allalelelele. cluck cluck cluck ..

Ok so to put the reader out of their misery, this is the reaction that greets the sight of any new baby in the family, the friends circle, the friendly harmless baby on the street / in public transport usually travelling with it's parents in tow. These come at different pitches, decibels depending on the situation in which the baby is spotted. If the baby is spotted in a public area, they are usually whispers or very carefully out of anyone else's earshot. Whatever is lost in decibels or pitch is gained by the facial expressions of pleasure or happiness in seeing a cute baby. Nowhere else was Newton more right, there is amazing conservation of energy - the only time this is violated is in the case below.

If it is a picture (of the latest addition to the friends circle or in the family) being examined in the comfort of your living room, then all bets are off. Decibels increase, the shrillness increases and along with it comes the warning of threats from the neighbours and folks wondering if this is a new form of a train horn. At the same time the happiness index in the face also rises and the facial expressions reach a new zenith.

Well then who emits these noises ? These are emitted usually by the female members of the species universally, most recently by the wife on seeing photos of a new addition in the friends circle. A recent survey showed that husbands and boyfriends not exhibiting an enthusiastic (not necessarily acoustically) response to these noises would result in one of the following consequences :  any allowance would be cut,  a massive loss in the brownie points index and servitude by peeling onions for the next n years ( 20 < n < 50) .

Not that I have much against babies or the particular one under question (definitely ranks high in the cuteness quotient) - I usually find them pleasant company, fighting (usually a losing battle) to keep my glasses on or preventing my pockets being picked. There are the occasional moments when I have to find some apparatus for drying my wet shirt.  Nevertheless I find them enjoyable company and having watched at close quarters a nephew and 2 nieces grow up was quite good fun.

But but but I can never be brought to make such noises at their sight either in the form of an attached photo, a video or indeed in person.

Why oh why ... oh why .. oh dear god why ?

P.S.  Before anyone asks if there is any "good" news ... There is not :)
P.P.S.. When the wife reads this: there is a prediction for a sharp fall in the brownie points index ;)